Introducing: The Paleo Diet for Crackers™

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cracker-paleo

It has been brought to our attention that milk is good for you. Thus, our team would like to introduce an updated version of paleo called The Paleo Diet for Crackers™. We believe the integration of recent evidence that dairy is good for you will lead to marked improvements in health for all adherents.

More good news: Switching to The Paleo Diet for Crackers™ will be an easy transition for those of you who are already familiar with The Paleo Diet™. The prescription is as follows: eat a standard paleo diet, but add milk and other dairy products at your leisure (because they are good for you).

We have two graphics below, the first is our estimation of the degree of evolution that has occurred in the species Homo sapiens sapiens since the introduction of milk and other dairy products into the adult human diet. The lighter areas are those in which the species has evolved more fully. The darker areas represent a more primitive state of hominin evolution. The second graphic is a representation of our marketing department’s goal for saturation of The Paleo Diet for Crackers™.

Please disregard the first graphic. It was mistakenly inserted by The Paleo Diet for Crackers™ graphics department. The entire [former] graphics department has been summarily fired, and we are working on getting the graphic removed. We can assure you that the first graphic is 100% irrelevant and the second graphic is sure to be accurate.

 

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